Saturday, October 17, 2009

Week 6 Picks

Yessa, Yesa, this edition of Parlay Picks brought to you by the 2nd Most Famous Short Person in the World Behind Eddie Huang..... aka Joe Pesci

Chiefs @ Redskins -6.5. 81% of Vegas is taking the Chiefs. Take the Chiefs! The Redskins covered last week, God knows its not happening two weeks in a row. I expect Tom Cruise to be coaching by halftime.

Texans @ Bengals -5 = 71% of Vegas is taking the Bengals, we agree, they run the ball and the Texans can't stop anyone and their offense stalls in the first half. IF the Texans offense could consistently score 28 points, we'd take them, but their offense is not dominant enough to carry that wack defense.

Browns @ Steelers -14 = 81% of Vegas taking the Steelers. Take the steelers. Division game, at home, Polamalu should finally be back. They have not been covering but the browns are that bad. Hopefully with Polamalu back, we can start taking the Steelers to cover going forward because the last few weeks the defense has broken down in the second half.

Ravens @ Vikings -3 = 51% of Vegas is taking the Vikings, this is a great line. Take the Vikings -3 at home. Teams always give 3 points at home, by leaving it at 3, vegas is telling you they think these teams are even. I don't, the vikings are better.

Rams @ Jaguars -9.5 = 52% of Vegas is taking the jaguars. I don't like taking bad teams with big spreads just because of the matchup. Yes, Jacksonville could easily put up 30 on the Rams, but they are not consistent so its not worth your money to bet this game. If you have to.... Take the Jags.

Giants @ Saints -3 = 95% of Vegas is taking the Giants, we agree. This is a tough call. Game of the week. The Saints have passed every test thrown their way this season and I would not be surprised if they win. Shit, I actually THINK they'll win. BUT, as a gambling man, you want to bet with your head, not just on instincts. Ask yourself, have the Saints had to "grind out" a tough win against a dominant defensive line yet? No. They would have had to against the Eagles, but with McNabb out, it wasn't a match. The Jets shot themselves in the foot consistently on offense and the Saints never had to dig deep. The Giants are the most consistent team in the NFL the last 3 years. Eli is earning his money (something I thought I'd never say) and you know Coughlin's team is always going to show up. Even with the flak that Brandon Jacobs has been getting, people need to understand, the brotha is doin his THANG. His job is to run it up the middle, beat up the defense, and then Bradshaw comes in like DJ Webstar to dance on em. Take the Giants because the Saints have not shown you they can beat a team like them. P.S. Raf is taking the Saints. P.P.S. Raf also lives on top of a tire shop that sells PAINTED ON TREADS. So, if you bet with Raf, you bet with Bin Laden..... I'm just saying.

Panthers @ Buccaneers +3 = 86% take the Panthers, take the panthers! The Bucs are unwatchable. Any team that has lost to the Redskins this year should be shipped to Dubai. Start a league there. Dubai has everything now. Magnolia, Shake Shack, I'm sure they want the Buccaneers too. This is the type of game you bet because the team is shitty. You don't take the Jags to cover 9.5 against anyone, but -3 is easy, the Panthers are fully capable of it.

Lions @ Packers -13.5 = 54% of Vegas takes the lions. we take lions. The Packers should win. No doubt about that but the Lions are not as bad as you think. They covered against the Steelers and they'll do it against the Packers because the Packers offensive line can't protect Rodgers and their defensive front 7 underachieves.

Eagles at Raiders +14 = 92% of Vegas takes the Eagles, it should be 100 Eagles. Which 8 idiots are betting the Raiders? Their kids should just give up on college now cause there is absolutely no college fund when your dumb ass parents are betting the Raiders to do anything. Tom Cable is still my favorite coach in the NFL. Its not his fault that his assistants have glass chins. If only the rest of the Raiders were as hard as Cable.....

Cardinals @ Seabirds -3 = 73% of Vegas is taking the Cardinals, we take the Seabirds. Hasselbeck is tearin it up and the Cardinals refuse to run the ball. I had no idea Matt Hasselbeck was the 4th Manning brother, but apparently after the heat rock he dropped on the Jags, Mr. Balding is the 4th Manning Brother.

Bills @ Jets -9.5 = 59% of Vegas is taking the Jets, we like the Jets. Nobody likes the Bills. Let TO play quarterback. Again, just to re-hash the betting on matchups philosophy. Don't bet against a bad team just for the hell of it, bet against a bad team if its a low spread, AND bet against a bad team if they are playing a good team coming off a loss like the Jets because it will be a "value line" like this.

Titans @ Patriots -9 = 89% of Vegas is taking the Patriots. We like that. The Titans have no secondary. I heard Al Bundy and Polk High threw for 8 touchdowns against the Titans on Thursday night.

Bears @ Falcons -3 = 85% of Vegas is taking the Falcons. We like the Falcons. They came up big against a tough SF team at home. We are "renting" the Falcons. Not buying, renting. They surprised me last week against SF. As Ali G said, "RESPEKT!"

Broncos at Chargers -3.5 = Broncos all day baby. 70% of Vegas is taking the Broncos. We like that. Raf likes norv turner, thus, Raf likes losing and is taking the Chargers. WE ARE TAKING THE BRONCOS. When you ride with Norv Turner, you're on a highway to hell.

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